We’re launching a series of fiction pieces simply titled “Interview fail”. Just to show you the pitfalls to avoid when dealing with potential employers. Introducing Sharon, candidate for a waitress position at Parson’s Cafe.
Interviewer: Hi Sharon, welcome! Thanks so much for coming in. My name is Pete and I’m the owner of Parson’s Cafe.
Sharon: Hi Pete! Thanks for meeting with me!
Interviewer: We are a small but professional cafe, and have around two other members of staff in total. So, we want our next waitress to be a great all-rounder, someone who is able to wait tables, operate the till and clean all in one shift. Would these responsibilities be within your remit?
Sharon: I am sure I could manage all of those. I have operated a till before, but I have never worked as a waitress. I thought I would be able to give it a go and learn on the job. The description mentioned that you might be able to offer some training?
Interviewer: That’s right, and it’s no problem, we can tweak your current skills and waiting tables is easy to pick up. Could you tell me a little it about yourself? What are your key skills?
Sharon: I’m a little bit clumsy, my friends call me “Stupid Sharon”, but it’s nothing major. Otherwise, I’m nice, kind, and am always on time.
Interviewer: OK… when you say clumsy, do you think you will be able to work as a waitress and wait on tables without falling over? As this will be one of your key responsibilities.
Interviewer: Um, OK. Well as we are here in the restaurant right now, why don’t you give it a go.
Here’s a tray full of plates, pick it up and take it over to that table there, like a waitress would. Then set it down.
Sharon nervously clutches the tray and starts walking slowly, the tray rattles as she picks it up. Then she stops looking at the tray and starts looking around and back at Pete.
Interviewer: That’s it Sharon.
Sharon nods with happiness just before crashing into another table she hadn’t seen knee-first, which causes her to drop the tray and plates on the floor. The interviewer puts his hands over his ears and shakes his head in despair.
Interviewer: I’m not sure that being a waitress is for you Sharon. Why don’t you try applying to become a shop assistant?
Sharon picks herself up off the floor and manages to smash another dirty plate with her heels, which causes her to fall over again as she turns to leave. She runs out.
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